Marriage-couple therapy
MARRIAGE AND COUPLE THERAPY
Marital and relationship issues can be solved not by trying to change your partner but by learning about yourself, learning communication skills, and looking at marriage and relationship in a different light. You will soon realize that your spouse or partner has joined you in this journey and your relationship has changed from a tug of war and arguments to a collaborative relationship. However, this does not mean you must accept harmful behaviors; such behavior must be addressed and changed.
Modern Marriage: Individualism Meets Partnership
In recent decades we have noticed an upsurge of divorce, unhappy marriages, and individuals who will not commit to a meaningful relationship. The 1960s and 1970s psychology trends moved more towards the individualistic view, while the psychology of marriage stayed behind in the 1950s. In the 1950s and early 1960s, marriage was viewed as a partnership where both individuals were expected to fully commit to the marriage without considering their own individual needs. However, the psychology trends that evolved in the 1960s and early 1970s placed more importance on the individualistic approach.
For relationships and marriages to work today we need to change the view of marriage psychology and make them harmonious to individualistic psychology. A happy relationship requires respect for the individual while contributing to the health of the marriage. This new outlook will create happy and satisfied partners individually and as a couple.
Modern Marriage: Individualism Meets Partnership
In recent decades we have noticed an upsurge of divorce, unhappy marriages, and individuals who will not commit to a meaningful relationship. The 1960s and 1970s psychology trends moved more towards the individualistic view, while the psychology of marriage stayed behind in the 1950s. In the 1950s and early 1960s, marriage was viewed as a partnership where both individuals were expected to fully commit to the marriage without considering their own individual needs. However, the psychology trends that evolved in the 1960s and early 1970s placed more importance on the individualistic approach.
For relationships and marriages to work today we need to change the view of marriage psychology and make them harmonious to individualistic psychology. A happy relationship requires respect for the individual while contributing to the health of the marriage. This new outlook will create happy and satisfied partners individually and as a couple.
Navigating the Non-Negotiables in Relationships
Interestingly, research indicates that only 30% of issues in a marriage are resolvable with the remaining 70% not resolvable. These issues stem from individual differences between the partners. I call these issues “non-negotiables”. The non-negotiables are the personality and character traits of each of the partners. Try to change these characteristics in your partner, and that will make your partner unhappy and resentful.
it is crucial to distinguish between these inherent traits and harmful or unacceptable behaviors that need to be modified. My approach helps couples address and change harmful behaviors while respecting and accepting each other’s core characteristics.
Building a New Perspective
By learning coping and communication skills and respecting each other’s individuality, partners can gain a new, constructive perspective on their union. This approach not only strengthens the relationship but also fosters personal growth and satisfaction.
My Approach
With extensive training as a Family and Marriage Therapist and rich personal experiences, I have successfully guided many couples toward healthier, more fulfilling relationships. My approach focuses on:
- Building a New Perspective: Understanding that trying to change your partner’s core traits is futile but harmful and toxic behaviors must be addressed and modified.
- Self-Awareness: Helping each partner understand their own emotions, triggers, and behaviors, which is the first step towards meaningful change.
- Effective Communication: Teaching couples how to communicate more effectively, including active listening, expressing needs and feelings without blame, and constructive conflict resolution.
- Collaborative Problem Solving: Providing tools and techniques to address and resolve conflicts collaboratively, ensuring that both partners feel heard and valued.
- Emotional Connection: Guiding couples to rebuild emotional intimacy and trust, creating a deeper, more meaningful connection.
